Today is the 1 year anniversary of my Nan's passing. I can't believe that a year has already gone by without her, although I don't think I am ever really without her. I still miss her tremendously every day. Strong, loyal and kind are three words that describe my grandmother but there are so many more. She was the first Queen I ever knew, Queen of her home and her family, it was the only crown she ever wanted and she wore it with so much pride. She was a woman that valued family above all, and spent her life nurturing those that she loved, from her husband to her babies and her great grand babies. I know she’s looking down with pride as all of us live our lives with the values she passed on to us.
Now, below is a post I wrote just after her passing-
I was sitting there in the hospital with my Nan, on her bed and just being with her while she came in and out of sleep. Watching her go through all this had been hard obviously, but also enlightening. Truth is, getting old sucks, there is no 2 ways about it. Either Your body shuts down and you lose the ability to be independent, or your brain does which again you lose the ability to be independent. We become child like, right back to wear we started. Thereally shitty part is we are (mostly) aware of it. That our grand children or children have to shower us, take us to the bathroom which you can't do anymore without the assistance of medication, sometimes spoon feed us. And then you reach that point where your family has to decide where to put you for your last days/weeks/months. It's painful. Painful for your family to watch and painful for you to go through. Rarely do you just get old without health complications and pass away in your own bed with a smile on your face. That is almost a fairytale.
My 86yr old nan felt like 60 was yesterday, like giving birth to her first son, my dad, was just a moment ago. She lived an amazing full life where her family was her happiness and her priority. She loved the one man her whole life, of course it got hard at times but they fought for it.. they worked at it. They had 4 great kids that lead to umpteen grand babies AND already multiple great grand babies. Her life went in the blink of an eye and she is now in hospital battling too many things. But... The fact That my nan can lay there and tell me she has had an amazing life, filled with lots of love and she is happy she can say that at the end...Well...THAT hit home.
In the end, and I mean the very end when you feel it's your last moments, the things you will think about with a smile on your face won't be the trip to Hawaii or the Maserati you drove, it will be the memories wrapped in AND filled with unconditional love, and the way it affected you.
The lesson for me is something we get told all the time, everyday even... I think we hear it but don't listen to it. We don't let is resonate as much as it should. Different words meaning much the same thing.
Love is the greatest gift of all. Love of yourself and love of the people around you. Love is truly a gift that knows no boundaries and holds no grudge. It helps us forgive, it gives us strength, confidence, it gives us comfort. It gives us hope.
It was so obvious in my beautiful nan's eyes as she reminisced, Love wins, every time.
Please, hug your mother, your grandmother, daughter, sister and aunt today. Tell the women in your family how much they mean to you and appreciate how lucky you are to have them here. Remind them they are Queens, and they deserve all the things.
All my love, Sharna